I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize