another moral hangover. fuck.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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