Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
oh god the rape fog is back!
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
