put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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