kristin has been a bad kristin
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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