i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
