That's intense
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Randomize
