Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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