just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
