And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
