i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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