Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Dear god my vagina.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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