your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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