laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
