And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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