i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
