When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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