He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
