Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
