I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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