is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Randomize
