bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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