Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He? As in you personified your dick?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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