I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
