Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
