The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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