check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
