I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
