Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize