all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
