bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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