I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
