do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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