Buhtt sex?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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