i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
