C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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