is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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