I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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