My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
