cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
