This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize