I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
