I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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