so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize