soooo we both peed the bed last night...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
