Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize