They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize