shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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