Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize