The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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