the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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