he wants to bone in the snuggie
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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