Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
