If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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