last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
