I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
