I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
They have beer where we have blood.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
