one might say we're banned from that church
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
