Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
