who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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