Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
