I can't watch pbs sober anymore
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize
