i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
