pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize