we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
