i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
