Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
